Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Week 12 prayers

It's official, the luster is off the Redskins' hot start. They are now just another mediocre team in the NFL that could go either way. My main concerns for this week are lack of pass rush (we are 27th in the league in sacks) and lack of finishing on offense (we are also 27th in average points scored per game). The effect of the later is we let teams hang around, and we never extend leads. Don't forget that we had the lead going into the 4th quarter against the Cowboys. I don't know what the solution to our problems are, but I can guarantee that we won't go far into the playoffs until they are solved. The good news is the Seahawks are next, who we should beat. Looking at the rest of the schedule, I would be happy with 10-6.

It's going to be a good couple months for going to games. You both know I saw LaBron put up 34 on the Jazz last Saturday. In a couple of weeks, I am going to the Bears-Jaguars game with my friend who's dad is a season ticket holder. Tailgating will be in full effect, and he guaranteed I would be way hammered by kickoff. Then Valparaiso will get the beatdown from North Carolina at the United Center right before Christmas break. Finally, before the end of the year, I should be going to a Saturday night Bulls game (was going to see the Wizards on Dec. 6, but that conflicts with Bears-Jags), which will lead nicely into getting ignorant at the club later. Chicago is turning out to be not half bad.

Speaking of the Wizards...I'm just going to convert to a Bulls fan. It's getting embarrassing at this point. And all their high end players just got new contracts, so it's going to be nearly impossible to move them now. I don't see this situation changing for a while. Also, Derrick Rose is legit.

Time for locks.

Denver (-9 1/2) vs. Oakland
The Raiders offense has not scored a touchdown in four straight games. I think I might just bet against them until they do. This week, they won't be able to keep up with the pass happy Broncos.

NY Giants (-3) at Arizona
The Cardinals offense is one dimensional, and the Giants actually have a pretty good secondary. Plus I think the Cards' record is a little fraudulent. They have been playing doo doo teams all year.

Cincinnati (+11) at Pittsburgh
The Steelers only put up 11 on the Chargers last week. I think the biggest factor in this game is the weather forecast is calling for snow showers on Thursday in Pittsburgh. I like that to mean the Steelers win, but don't cover the big number.

Indianapolis (+2 1/2) at San Diego
Naptown has won three in a row, and will probably be pushing for a wild card spot in the AFC in December. On the other side, the Chargers have looked like ass the past couple of weeks, even though they beat the Chiefs. By the way, did you see how long Philip Rivers held onto the ball when he took that safety? Did he suddenly go retarded? I need to know because he is my starting QB in fantasy. Has my fantasy curse expanded to include injuries of the intellect as well?

Last week
2-2

For the year
28-15

Monday, November 17, 2008

Well, we suck.

Yeah, the Redskins blow. Who wants to talk about football? I propose a new topic for the blog: the Last Starfighter.


"Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Kodan armada!"

How do they come up with that gold?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Week 11 Free Money

I have a busy weekend planned. So I am going to get my picks in a little early and quick this week. I'll get right to the business.

Arizona (-3) at Seattle
The league's 2nd best pass offense is laying only 3 to the league's 2nd worst pass defense. Kurt Warner may drop back 60 times, which would be only a good thing.

Chicago (+3 1/2) at Green Bay
I was watching the Bears game last week with a bunch of lifelong Bears fans. After having experienced that, I would strongly advise Sexy Rexy to not go out in public in Chicago lest he get his dome split. Face it Lovie Trick, he will never stop being garbage. If you can't play your starter, go with the rookie. The Bears should be motivated to bounce back this week after playing the Titans tough and still losing. Also, the savior of Chicago, Orton, should be back this week. Even if the Packers win, I see it as being decided only by a field goal.

Tampa Bay (-4) vs. Minnesota
The Bucs are strong, and they had a bye to prepare for the Vikings. Minnesota is coming off a big win last week against the Packers, but they (Gus Frerotte) almost gave it away. It will take an extraordinary set of circumstances for the Vikings to win on the road with Gus's prerequisite 3 picks.

Miami (-10) vs. Oakland
The Raiders have not scored a touchdown in their last 3 games (think about that), and that will be a long trip to Miami. Meanwhile the Dolphins can make a move in the AFC East with the Jets and Pats beating up on each other Thursday night. I can't believe the Dolphins actually have something to play for.

Last week
2-2

For the year
26-13

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The return!

It only took 4 guys getting injured on his former team for the man, the legened, Tatum Bell returns! Hide your luggage.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3696267

Friday, November 7, 2008

SheAngelo, MeAngelo, DeAngelo

The Redskins got worked on Monday night, clearly. The defense was stellar until the offense had a punt blocked - it'd have been hard to expect them to keep playing with intensity after the offense was so inept it was clear that it didn't matter how well they played. It didn't help that Byron Leftwich proved how shitty a quarterback Roethlisberger really is ... just check the stat sheets, they both had exactly the same amount of time on the field.

As far as the fans go I have two theories. The first is that FedEx field is too big and is a huge pain in the ass to go see a game. The second theory holds that this could have only happend on a Monday night and only against the Steelers (who have so many degenerate fans in this area.) See here is the thing, us Redskins fans have jobs, we can't be out all night.

Lots of talk going on about this DeAngelo Hall thing. I think this is a no lose situation, we're paying the man NFL minimum wage. Some people are saying Springs is moving to free safety, which I think would be a bad move - LaRon Landry is awesome back there.

7-7 last week, 35-42 on the season. I'm going to make a comeback I tell you...

Falcons (-1) over Saints - The Falcons have been absolutely crushing teams with a weak defense, I'm looking at you New Orleans
Titans (-3) at Bears - Best team in the league vs. Sexy Rexy? Enough said.
Lions (+6.5) over Jaguars - If Detroit is going to win a game this year, this is it. Can the Jaguars lose to two winless teams in back to back weeks? Yes they can!
Dolphins (-8) over Seahawks - That's a hell of a trip.
Vikings (+2.5) over Packers - I don't like taking a line where losing by a field goal whores you but my gut tells me Green Bay can't be counted on this week.
Patriots (-3.5) over Bills - As soon as I believe in the Bills they prove I was right at the start. Fuck them.
Rams (+9) at Jets - I like the big lines given to mediocre teams.
Ravens (-1) at Texans - It's Houston people.
BYE (-6) over Cowboys - They can't cover shit.
Raiders (+9.5) over Panthers - I guess I just like big lines in general, Raiders have to be embarassed last week.
Steelers (-3) over Colts - That defense is fucking everywhere.
Chiefs (+15.5) at Chargers - Come on, 15.5? This isn't the '07 Patriots.
Eagles (+3) over Giants - Because a 3-way tie in the NFC east would be pandemonium
49ers (+9.5) over Cardinals - I take all 9+ lines, even this one... for some reason.

Week 10 certainties

The king (*me) is back. I was one point from being 4-0 last week. I should have known better than to take a 4 point line. I don't know if you guys are the same, but I have certain numbers that I like and don't like. For instance, I love laying and hate getting 6 and a hook or 2 and a hook, and I love getting but hate laying numbers like 4 and 8. I am still debating with myself whether that is retarded or not. It's me so it probably is. Just go with the odds there.

Mike and I talked about this a little, but I am embarrassed as a Skins fan about how FedEx was overrun by Steelers fans on Monday night. I fucking hate Steelers fans so much, and those subhuman fucks should not be allowed to go into our house like that. What the fuck is wrong with this city? RFK used to be notorious for having a huge home field advantage. Where the fuck did that go? My gut tells me that this has a lot to do with how this team has been run from a business perspective, and I therefore blame Dan Snyder. And this brings up a side issue. It is such a pain in the ass to go to Skins games. I love watching Skins games live more than most other things in the whole world, but I hate the experience (getting to and from the stadium, parking, price gouging even for a sporting event, etc.). I hope Snyder changes that if/when he builds the new stadium.

I am not going to go off on the Skins game. I think it is pretty simple, the offense needs a lot of work. There are certain aspects that are really good, mostly the running game. But after starting two straight drives within the Steelers 40, you have to get at least one TD there. And everyone is responsible for that. Another thing, I heard Greg Blache say it best to Carlos Rogers. You are having a great year, but if you want to make it to Hawaii, you have to come up with those plays that he dropped. For fuck sake! Ball handling! Even I am getting tired of hearing myself say that. But the biggest thing is the offense. This is probably a playoff team, but we aren't going anywhere in December or January if we can't convert. The next game against Dallas is going to be huge. I want to see them (team and fans) get the motherfucking beat down. Fuck the Cowboys.

Time for more free money.

Tennessee (-3) at Chicago
This game is the simplest on the board this week. Rex Grossman will not be the QB to beat the Titans D for the first time. If you think he is, then let me know and I will have Tommy go back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you are a fucking retard.

Kansas City (+15 1/2) at San Diego
The Chiefs have been playing tough the past two weeks against two good teams. And the Chargers are not that great. They have a losing record, a shitty D, and their offense is one dimensional. What's with the slap-in-the-face line?

Detroit (+6 1/2) vs. Jacksonville
Didn't I just say that I hate taking this number? But I won last week betting against the Jags covering on the road, and I feel good about doing that again. Their offense is garbage. Don't look it up, but can you name one Jags receiver? I think their number one is white. That should tell you everything you need to know about their passing attack. You won't hear me say this often, but bet on the Lions.

Miami (-8) vs. Seattle
The Seahawks are an unmitigated disaster. Miami has the hot hand. And they have basically the longest trip possible for an NFL team to play a game. Lay the wood and take the Dolphins.

Last week
3-1

For the year
24-11

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Week 9 picks that will get whored

Can you believe the call in that fucking Falcons-Eagles game? If the ref does not make that call, the 9 I catch with the Falcons makes me a big fat winner. Instead, the Eagles score a TD off that horseshit and win 27-14. I am not going to go as far as Mike and just pick against Nasty Natti every week, but I will do that for almost every week. I mean shit, Ocho Cinco says the Bengals can go Ocho and Ocho. Oh my G0d that is funny! How could a guy with gold fronts be wrong? This is the ultimate case of a team that has given up. I am not going to pick against them this week because Jacksonville is going on the road, and they are an offense that does not score a lot of points. I don't like laying more than 7 with an offense like that.

I have to disagree with Mike about the Redskins. I think they definitely deserve their 6-2 record. Despite the close scores, they have dominated the stat sheets. It may seem like the ball is just bouncing their way sometimes, but they are convincingly and consistently outplaying their opponents, even in the loss to the Rams. I think when you play like that, you deserve to win even those close games. I actually think it is only a matter of time before the Skins can start translating those long drives into more points. The reason that we have so many close games is because of a lot of secondary things. Penalties at key moments, turnovers, and missed opportunities for takeaways (I have been bitching about this forever now). Can Carlos Rogers hang onto a fucking interception, I mean for fuck sake. Despite those drops, he is actually doing well in coverage this year, and he hits hard for a corner (it hurts to praise him after talking shit for so long). I also think this team has a great attitude. They are really playing hard as a team, and it all starts with Zorn. He is like the polar opposite of Joe Gibbs or Lovie Trick. There is nothing apathetic about him.

I have to be honest. I am worried that we are going to go out there this week and not be able to get anything going on offense. The D plays well until they get tired from being on the field so much, and the Steelers break through. On the other hand, I think we match up well against them. If we can put together some long punishing drives, that league leading D will wear down. We need another big win like that to legitimize ourselves against after that Rams game.

Another thing, Mike Singletary is a fucking buffoon. I was all about him after his Vernon Davis tirade. I was all ready to strap up and play for him myself. But dropping your pants in the locker room to make a point that probably doesn't make a damn bit of sense. This is a new level of jackassary for the NFL.

One final thing, I love Halloween. Girls seem to love this excuse to dress up like filthy whores, and I am not mad at that one bit. Some of these girls got a brother ready to settle down and shit (haven't said that for a while).

Time for winners.

Atlanta (-3) at Oakland
The Raiders defense is supposed to be the good side of this team, and they let Joe Flacco hang 29 on them last week. Plus, the Falcons (and me) must be mad as a motherfucker for having that game stolen from them last week by the refs in Philadelphia.

Tennessee (-4) vs. Green Bay
The formula for the Titans in this game is simple. Run it down the Packer defense's throats all day long. They are ranked 25th against the run, and Chris Johnson and LenWhale (also hilarious) White are a strong combination.

Arizona (-3) at St. Louis
The dome and turf favor the Cardinals' pass-heavy offense. They are ranked 1st in the league in average points scored per game. And for fuck sake, look at the Rams stats. I don't care if they beat the Skins and Cowboys, they are still garbage.

Baltimore (+1 1/2) at Cleveland
I have said this before, strong defense wins road division games. And this is the ultimate case of a really good defense going against a joke of an offense. I cannot see how the Romeo Crannel led Browns offense will be able to score against the Ravens' D. And another thing, you should seize this opportunity to bet against Derek Anderson, because I think Brady Quinn is finally close to getting the nod.

Last week
2-2

For the year
21-10

Unstoppable Force Meets Immovable Object

It’s time for the league’s leading rusher to square off against the league’s best defense. I believe the last time that happened we hung 208 yards on Philadelphia but they were selling out to keep Moss from making an impact. I think the Steelers have to flip the script and stuff the box, so hopefully Campbell can carry the offense, which could be very hard if Santana has to sit. Honestly I think the Redskins are lucky to be 6-2, they’re not really that good, so this game against the Steelers is going to be a real test. They could be that good if they’d stop floundering in the red zone with penalties and botched plays but they really haven’t shown any signs that they’re taking care of it. Everyone remembers the Lions were 6-2 last year right? Gotta keep it together. Win or lose the skins really need the bye next week, it seems like everybody is banged up.

First time this season my picks go positive, 7-5 for the week, 28-35 this season.
Dallas (+9) at New York Giants – I know the cowboys are struggling but offensively the Giants have looked like garbage the last two weeks, I don’t think they cover.
Buffalo (-5.5) over Jets – Buffalo needs to win by less than a single Jett Favre Snakedown? No question.
Detroit (+12.5) at Chicago – I know Neckbeard is looking hot but that’s a awful big line and the Lions have actually been competitive the last two weeks.
Jax (-7.5) at Nasty Natty – Like Drew with the Rams, I pick against Natty until it burns me. Hasn’t yet.
Ravens (+1.5) at Cleveland – I bet on the Browns upset last week and it paid off but I don’t think they know how to win two in a row.
Greenbay (+4.5) over Tennessee – I think GB coming off a bye hands the Titans their first loss in a upset.
Kansas City (+9) over Tampa Bay – Tampa’s offense is not so hot, I like the Chiefs to be able to cover at home.
St. Louis (+3) over Arizona – We all know the Cardinals can’t win on the East coast. St. Louis is closer to the right coast than the wrong coast, so I give it to the Rams.
Texans (+4.5) at Vikings – Why are the Vikings favored in this game? The Texans are a better team.
Denver (-3) over Miami – Porous pass defense can still shut down Pennington… right?
Atlanta (-3) at Oakland – Oakland sucks, what can I say. Atlanta should’ve covered (or won) against the Eagles last week but the refs fucked them hard.
Philadelphia (-7) at Seattle – Seahawks also suck, Eagles can beat them without Zebra assistance.
New England (+6) at Indy – That’s a huge line against a winning team visiting a losing team. Curious.
Washington (-1.5) over Pittsburg – I really thought the Steelers would’ve been the favorites here, I guess they’re giving us home field advantage despite the fact that the steelers have played better on the road all year.