It's over for the Skins. This shit is starting to unravel. Zorn is on the hot keys in the hot seat. Portis is going off. The offensive line needs a complete overhaul. I've been saying this for three years now, JON JANSON AND CHRIS SAMUELS ARE NOT GOOD. Please get them off the fucking team. The rookies are laughable. I heard Fred Davis is too stupid to learn the offense. The others haven't done shit. Besides Chris Horton, this entire draft class is a bust. Speaking of busts, Jason Taylor is just that. He's not coming back next season. You'll see him fulfilling his dream of being a shitty version of the Rock, who is himself a poor man's Arnold. Way to be someone Jason, you washed up piece of shit. The next draft had better be nothing but O and D linemen. Either way, Vinny Cerrato is going to fuck it up. Next to Dan Snyder, he is the biggest joke in this organization. The rest of the league laughs at us because of you turd burglars. Fuck you both for fucking up our team. Why don't you take your seatbelts off and drive 100mph on the wrong side of the road, you fucking assclowns.
My picks last week were full of heartbreak. The games I lost were by 1, 1, and 1 1/2. Fuck you all. Time for more horeshit.*
*not bitter
New York Giants +3 at Dallas
While I am bitter about the Skins, oh how I love watching Jon's gay fantasy, TO, turn back into the team cancer that he really is. What's even funnier is it sounds like the Cowboys are starting to divide along racial lines. Why do I find that so amusing? That's a mystery. Homo and Witten are having secret meetings, then TO and Roy Williams are doing the same thing. When a team gets like this, it's nice to have a hard nosed coach who can make those fuckers fall back in line...wait, huh? Wade Phillips is still the coach? Well, they're fucked. And this team is laying points to the best team in the NFC? I don't care if it is in Dallas, that line is retarded.
Baltimore -2 1/2 vs. Pittsburgh
Last time these two teams met, the Ravens took the Steelers to OT and almost won the game. Now the Steelers O line is even more porous, and the Ravens D looks like it just keeps getting better. They will murder Truthlesberger, who refuses to learn that he can't hold onto the ball forever. Look for the Ravens to play that overloaded D line again to create matchup problems for the Steelers and harass that douchebag all day long.
New York Jets -7 1/2 vs. Buffalo
You know I hate lines like this, but I have to seize these final opportunities to bet against the Bills. They are so fucking pathetic. Way to put up 3 at home against the Dolphins last week, assclowns. Meanwhile, the Jets had a huge brainfuck last week and lost to the 49ers. It's now a three-way tie in the AFC East, and the Jets could really use this division win. It's gametime like a motherfucker for the Jets, and as much as I think he gets his dick sucked (mainly by John Madden) way too much, Jett (so funny, lo-fucking-l) Farve will come ready to play.
New England -6 1/2 at Oakland
Just like the Jets, the Patriots are competing for the division. Cassel got his shit back together. He's a free agent after this season, so look for him to get G'ed up with a big deal. And with all the hype the Lions are getting for being the worst team in history, the Raiders are still hot garbage. Plus, I like that number. Go with it, bitches.
Last week
1-3
For the year
31-20
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Week 14 shit
This happens every year. The Skins get a little hot, I get 3/4 wood, then they cut that trick off. The truth is, the Redskins are a mediocre team at best. The O-line can't protect Jason Campbell. Jason himself isn't lighting shit up. Zorn said he is going to his checkdowns too fast. In previous years, he was criticized for going to them too slow. If he throws one more pass short of the fucking first down, I'm going to run onto the field King-style and steal him in the face. Whatever it is, I can't remember the last time he dropped a bomb on a defense. We only have one receiver that defenses need to respect. There is absolutely positively no pass rush. And the worst of it all is that we just don't score touchdowns. We are 28th in the league in scoring, and the fucking Lions have more TDs than us. That is a motherfucking disgrace. This draft class was centered around addressing this problem of scoring in the passing attack, and so far it has been an unmitigated failure. We could even end up like the Lions of last year, starting 6-2 and missing the playoffs. I am fucking embarrassed for this team. As much as I love this team, the fact is there are players, coaches, or executives that should not be there. I am convinced we cannot win with this exact cast of characters. The best I am personally hoping for is sneaking into the playoffs. Getting a playoff win is a distant hope because this team really does not deserve it. I should have known this would happen when the rookies weren't working out, the defense could not rush the passer, and the O-line started getting banged up again. And did you know that we have a fucking losing record all time at FedEx field? That's a fucking abomination. It's the same old shit.
As much as I try, I cannot get away from college football. I know this topic is played out, but there is going to be a fucking revolt if they don't go to a fucking playoff system. Someone is going to get left out in the cold that can make a really good case, probably Texas even though they beat Oklahoma at a neutral field. But it still looks like Oklahoma (I know they love to lose big games like the Big 12 championship, but they won't lose to Missouri) is going to play the winner of Florida vs. Alabama (which I want to pick this week). Then I hear USC and Penn State trying to make their own cases. Why they don't just stick all those teams in a fucking playoff and settle it that way, I don't understand. For fuck sake, if it's about money, you can still get paid off the playoff games you idiots. The NFL fucking prints money in January off their playoff games. I have a feeling they're going to be burning mattresses in the streets in Austin after all this gets settled.
I was out of town last weekend, which is why I wasn't able to pick winners. By the way, I'll be in DC for Christmas. Hit me up if you guys are going to be around too. Also, I am going to the Bears vs. Jaguars game this Sunday. The forecast high is 23 with a windchill of -3. Is that retarded? I am going to have to get all the way shitty to enjoy this game. And I will, getting there at 7am, and I'll be drinking at sunrise. Now on to the cash giveaway.
Alabama +10 vs. Florida
I know I don't usually pick college games, but this is too easy not to pick. First of all, Alabama is the number 1 team in the country. Nick Saban is going to be beating it into those players heads that they are being slapped in the fucking face, so they'll be way fucking motivated. Also, I have always heard if you ever see Nick Saban catching points, jump all over that shit. Consider this shit jumped on.
New England -4 1/2 at Seattle
Matt Cassel looked like doo doo last week at Pittsburgh, but it is obvious that he has monster games in him. Nothing like facing the league's worst pass defense to get back on track with another 400 yard game. Plus the Pats have a lot to play for. The AFC East is becoming a fucking bareknuckle fight, and they don't want to lose sight of the Jets. Expect that division to be decided in week 17.
Bears -6 1/2 vs. Jacksonville
Well I'm going to this (Lovie) trick, so I might as well pick it. The Jags have lost 3 straight, and I think their run D is wearing down as the year goes on. They let Steve Slaton put it in their butt (i.e. 130 and 2) last week. I wonder if Matt Forte is going to get a lot of looks this week. Hmm, that's a mystery.
Atlanta +3 at New Orleans
I've been getting rich off the Falcons this year. Once again, Vegas is taking out their pencil thin dick and slapping Atlanta in the face with that little trick. What is their fucking problem with this team? They don't run a gimmick offense. They aren't one dimensional. They have a good pass rush. Just accept that they aren't a fluke and give them their fucking props already. Ok, now that I got that out, I think the Saints are one dimensional. Their run game is a joke, which is starting to make me think about how Houston passed up on Reggie Bush. Charlie Casserly is starting to look like a motherfucking genius picking Mario Williams, who had 3 sacks last week by the way. Meanwhile, Reggie Bush is a punt returner and slot receiver at best. For whatever reason, he cannot run between the tackles, or stay healthy for that matter. Also, believe it or not, this is a huge game for Atlanta. The NFC South is really heating up with Carolina and Tampa Bay playing this week, and both are a full game ahead of Atlanta. That means the winner of that game will be alone in first place in the division, but still catchable. If Atlanta wins, then they will be tied for second in the division. In the end, the Falcons very likely will be fighting for a wild card spot, so they are going to need every division win they can get when it comes to tie break time. Count on the Falcons to be fully hyped for this game.
Last week
2-2
For the year
30-17
As much as I try, I cannot get away from college football. I know this topic is played out, but there is going to be a fucking revolt if they don't go to a fucking playoff system. Someone is going to get left out in the cold that can make a really good case, probably Texas even though they beat Oklahoma at a neutral field. But it still looks like Oklahoma (I know they love to lose big games like the Big 12 championship, but they won't lose to Missouri) is going to play the winner of Florida vs. Alabama (which I want to pick this week). Then I hear USC and Penn State trying to make their own cases. Why they don't just stick all those teams in a fucking playoff and settle it that way, I don't understand. For fuck sake, if it's about money, you can still get paid off the playoff games you idiots. The NFL fucking prints money in January off their playoff games. I have a feeling they're going to be burning mattresses in the streets in Austin after all this gets settled.
I was out of town last weekend, which is why I wasn't able to pick winners. By the way, I'll be in DC for Christmas. Hit me up if you guys are going to be around too. Also, I am going to the Bears vs. Jaguars game this Sunday. The forecast high is 23 with a windchill of -3. Is that retarded? I am going to have to get all the way shitty to enjoy this game. And I will, getting there at 7am, and I'll be drinking at sunrise. Now on to the cash giveaway.
Alabama +10 vs. Florida
I know I don't usually pick college games, but this is too easy not to pick. First of all, Alabama is the number 1 team in the country. Nick Saban is going to be beating it into those players heads that they are being slapped in the fucking face, so they'll be way fucking motivated. Also, I have always heard if you ever see Nick Saban catching points, jump all over that shit. Consider this shit jumped on.
New England -4 1/2 at Seattle
Matt Cassel looked like doo doo last week at Pittsburgh, but it is obvious that he has monster games in him. Nothing like facing the league's worst pass defense to get back on track with another 400 yard game. Plus the Pats have a lot to play for. The AFC East is becoming a fucking bareknuckle fight, and they don't want to lose sight of the Jets. Expect that division to be decided in week 17.
Bears -6 1/2 vs. Jacksonville
Well I'm going to this (Lovie) trick, so I might as well pick it. The Jags have lost 3 straight, and I think their run D is wearing down as the year goes on. They let Steve Slaton put it in their butt (i.e. 130 and 2) last week. I wonder if Matt Forte is going to get a lot of looks this week. Hmm, that's a mystery.
Atlanta +3 at New Orleans
I've been getting rich off the Falcons this year. Once again, Vegas is taking out their pencil thin dick and slapping Atlanta in the face with that little trick. What is their fucking problem with this team? They don't run a gimmick offense. They aren't one dimensional. They have a good pass rush. Just accept that they aren't a fluke and give them their fucking props already. Ok, now that I got that out, I think the Saints are one dimensional. Their run game is a joke, which is starting to make me think about how Houston passed up on Reggie Bush. Charlie Casserly is starting to look like a motherfucking genius picking Mario Williams, who had 3 sacks last week by the way. Meanwhile, Reggie Bush is a punt returner and slot receiver at best. For whatever reason, he cannot run between the tackles, or stay healthy for that matter. Also, believe it or not, this is a huge game for Atlanta. The NFC South is really heating up with Carolina and Tampa Bay playing this week, and both are a full game ahead of Atlanta. That means the winner of that game will be alone in first place in the division, but still catchable. If Atlanta wins, then they will be tied for second in the division. In the end, the Falcons very likely will be fighting for a wild card spot, so they are going to need every division win they can get when it comes to tie break time. Count on the Falcons to be fully hyped for this game.
Last week
2-2
For the year
30-17
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Week 12 prayers
It's official, the luster is off the Redskins' hot start. They are now just another mediocre team in the NFL that could go either way. My main concerns for this week are lack of pass rush (we are 27th in the league in sacks) and lack of finishing on offense (we are also 27th in average points scored per game). The effect of the later is we let teams hang around, and we never extend leads. Don't forget that we had the lead going into the 4th quarter against the Cowboys. I don't know what the solution to our problems are, but I can guarantee that we won't go far into the playoffs until they are solved. The good news is the Seahawks are next, who we should beat. Looking at the rest of the schedule, I would be happy with 10-6.
It's going to be a good couple months for going to games. You both know I saw LaBron put up 34 on the Jazz last Saturday. In a couple of weeks, I am going to the Bears-Jaguars game with my friend who's dad is a season ticket holder. Tailgating will be in full effect, and he guaranteed I would be way hammered by kickoff. Then Valparaiso will get the beatdown from North Carolina at the United Center right before Christmas break. Finally, before the end of the year, I should be going to a Saturday night Bulls game (was going to see the Wizards on Dec. 6, but that conflicts with Bears-Jags), which will lead nicely into getting ignorant at the club later. Chicago is turning out to be not half bad.
Speaking of the Wizards...I'm just going to convert to a Bulls fan. It's getting embarrassing at this point. And all their high end players just got new contracts, so it's going to be nearly impossible to move them now. I don't see this situation changing for a while. Also, Derrick Rose is legit.
Time for locks.
Denver (-9 1/2) vs. Oakland
The Raiders offense has not scored a touchdown in four straight games. I think I might just bet against them until they do. This week, they won't be able to keep up with the pass happy Broncos.
NY Giants (-3) at Arizona
The Cardinals offense is one dimensional, and the Giants actually have a pretty good secondary. Plus I think the Cards' record is a little fraudulent. They have been playing doo doo teams all year.
Cincinnati (+11) at Pittsburgh
The Steelers only put up 11 on the Chargers last week. I think the biggest factor in this game is the weather forecast is calling for snow showers on Thursday in Pittsburgh. I like that to mean the Steelers win, but don't cover the big number.
Indianapolis (+2 1/2) at San Diego
Naptown has won three in a row, and will probably be pushing for a wild card spot in the AFC in December. On the other side, the Chargers have looked like ass the past couple of weeks, even though they beat the Chiefs. By the way, did you see how long Philip Rivers held onto the ball when he took that safety? Did he suddenly go retarded? I need to know because he is my starting QB in fantasy. Has my fantasy curse expanded to include injuries of the intellect as well?
Last week
2-2
For the year
28-15
It's going to be a good couple months for going to games. You both know I saw LaBron put up 34 on the Jazz last Saturday. In a couple of weeks, I am going to the Bears-Jaguars game with my friend who's dad is a season ticket holder. Tailgating will be in full effect, and he guaranteed I would be way hammered by kickoff. Then Valparaiso will get the beatdown from North Carolina at the United Center right before Christmas break. Finally, before the end of the year, I should be going to a Saturday night Bulls game (was going to see the Wizards on Dec. 6, but that conflicts with Bears-Jags), which will lead nicely into getting ignorant at the club later. Chicago is turning out to be not half bad.
Speaking of the Wizards...I'm just going to convert to a Bulls fan. It's getting embarrassing at this point. And all their high end players just got new contracts, so it's going to be nearly impossible to move them now. I don't see this situation changing for a while. Also, Derrick Rose is legit.
Time for locks.
Denver (-9 1/2) vs. Oakland
The Raiders offense has not scored a touchdown in four straight games. I think I might just bet against them until they do. This week, they won't be able to keep up with the pass happy Broncos.
NY Giants (-3) at Arizona
The Cardinals offense is one dimensional, and the Giants actually have a pretty good secondary. Plus I think the Cards' record is a little fraudulent. They have been playing doo doo teams all year.
Cincinnati (+11) at Pittsburgh
The Steelers only put up 11 on the Chargers last week. I think the biggest factor in this game is the weather forecast is calling for snow showers on Thursday in Pittsburgh. I like that to mean the Steelers win, but don't cover the big number.
Indianapolis (+2 1/2) at San Diego
Naptown has won three in a row, and will probably be pushing for a wild card spot in the AFC in December. On the other side, the Chargers have looked like ass the past couple of weeks, even though they beat the Chiefs. By the way, did you see how long Philip Rivers held onto the ball when he took that safety? Did he suddenly go retarded? I need to know because he is my starting QB in fantasy. Has my fantasy curse expanded to include injuries of the intellect as well?
Last week
2-2
For the year
28-15
Monday, November 17, 2008
Well, we suck.
Yeah, the Redskins blow. Who wants to talk about football? I propose a new topic for the blog: the Last Starfighter.
"Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Kodan armada!"
How do they come up with that gold?
How do they come up with that gold?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Week 11 Free Money
I have a busy weekend planned. So I am going to get my picks in a little early and quick this week. I'll get right to the business.
Arizona (-3) at Seattle
The league's 2nd best pass offense is laying only 3 to the league's 2nd worst pass defense. Kurt Warner may drop back 60 times, which would be only a good thing.
Chicago (+3 1/2) at Green Bay
I was watching the Bears game last week with a bunch of lifelong Bears fans. After having experienced that, I would strongly advise Sexy Rexy to not go out in public in Chicago lest he get his dome split. Face it Lovie Trick, he will never stop being garbage. If you can't play your starter, go with the rookie. The Bears should be motivated to bounce back this week after playing the Titans tough and still losing. Also, the savior of Chicago, Orton, should be back this week. Even if the Packers win, I see it as being decided only by a field goal.
Tampa Bay (-4) vs. Minnesota
The Bucs are strong, and they had a bye to prepare for the Vikings. Minnesota is coming off a big win last week against the Packers, but they (Gus Frerotte) almost gave it away. It will take an extraordinary set of circumstances for the Vikings to win on the road with Gus's prerequisite 3 picks.
Miami (-10) vs. Oakland
The Raiders have not scored a touchdown in their last 3 games (think about that), and that will be a long trip to Miami. Meanwhile the Dolphins can make a move in the AFC East with the Jets and Pats beating up on each other Thursday night. I can't believe the Dolphins actually have something to play for.
Last week
2-2
For the year
26-13
Arizona (-3) at Seattle
The league's 2nd best pass offense is laying only 3 to the league's 2nd worst pass defense. Kurt Warner may drop back 60 times, which would be only a good thing.
Chicago (+3 1/2) at Green Bay
I was watching the Bears game last week with a bunch of lifelong Bears fans. After having experienced that, I would strongly advise Sexy Rexy to not go out in public in Chicago lest he get his dome split. Face it Lovie Trick, he will never stop being garbage. If you can't play your starter, go with the rookie. The Bears should be motivated to bounce back this week after playing the Titans tough and still losing. Also, the savior of Chicago, Orton, should be back this week. Even if the Packers win, I see it as being decided only by a field goal.
Tampa Bay (-4) vs. Minnesota
The Bucs are strong, and they had a bye to prepare for the Vikings. Minnesota is coming off a big win last week against the Packers, but they (Gus Frerotte) almost gave it away. It will take an extraordinary set of circumstances for the Vikings to win on the road with Gus's prerequisite 3 picks.
Miami (-10) vs. Oakland
The Raiders have not scored a touchdown in their last 3 games (think about that), and that will be a long trip to Miami. Meanwhile the Dolphins can make a move in the AFC East with the Jets and Pats beating up on each other Thursday night. I can't believe the Dolphins actually have something to play for.
Last week
2-2
For the year
26-13
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The return!
It only took 4 guys getting injured on his former team for the man, the legened, Tatum Bell returns! Hide your luggage.
Friday, November 7, 2008
SheAngelo, MeAngelo, DeAngelo
The Redskins got worked on Monday night, clearly. The defense was stellar until the offense had a punt blocked - it'd have been hard to expect them to keep playing with intensity after the offense was so inept it was clear that it didn't matter how well they played. It didn't help that Byron Leftwich proved how shitty a quarterback Roethlisberger really is ... just check the stat sheets, they both had exactly the same amount of time on the field.
As far as the fans go I have two theories. The first is that FedEx field is too big and is a huge pain in the ass to go see a game. The second theory holds that this could have only happend on a Monday night and only against the Steelers (who have so many degenerate fans in this area.) See here is the thing, us Redskins fans have jobs, we can't be out all night.
Lots of talk going on about this DeAngelo Hall thing. I think this is a no lose situation, we're paying the man NFL minimum wage. Some people are saying Springs is moving to free safety, which I think would be a bad move - LaRon Landry is awesome back there.
7-7 last week, 35-42 on the season. I'm going to make a comeback I tell you...
Falcons (-1) over Saints - The Falcons have been absolutely crushing teams with a weak defense, I'm looking at you New Orleans
Titans (-3) at Bears - Best team in the league vs. Sexy Rexy? Enough said.
Lions (+6.5) over Jaguars - If Detroit is going to win a game this year, this is it. Can the Jaguars lose to two winless teams in back to back weeks? Yes they can!
Dolphins (-8) over Seahawks - That's a hell of a trip.
Vikings (+2.5) over Packers - I don't like taking a line where losing by a field goal whores you but my gut tells me Green Bay can't be counted on this week.
Patriots (-3.5) over Bills - As soon as I believe in the Bills they prove I was right at the start. Fuck them.
Rams (+9) at Jets - I like the big lines given to mediocre teams.
Ravens (-1) at Texans - It's Houston people.
BYE (-6) over Cowboys - They can't cover shit.
Raiders (+9.5) over Panthers - I guess I just like big lines in general, Raiders have to be embarassed last week.
Steelers (-3) over Colts - That defense is fucking everywhere.
Chiefs (+15.5) at Chargers - Come on, 15.5? This isn't the '07 Patriots.
Eagles (+3) over Giants - Because a 3-way tie in the NFC east would be pandemonium
49ers (+9.5) over Cardinals - I take all 9+ lines, even this one... for some reason.
As far as the fans go I have two theories. The first is that FedEx field is too big and is a huge pain in the ass to go see a game. The second theory holds that this could have only happend on a Monday night and only against the Steelers (who have so many degenerate fans in this area.) See here is the thing, us Redskins fans have jobs, we can't be out all night.
Lots of talk going on about this DeAngelo Hall thing. I think this is a no lose situation, we're paying the man NFL minimum wage. Some people are saying Springs is moving to free safety, which I think would be a bad move - LaRon Landry is awesome back there.
7-7 last week, 35-42 on the season. I'm going to make a comeback I tell you...
Falcons (-1) over Saints - The Falcons have been absolutely crushing teams with a weak defense, I'm looking at you New Orleans
Titans (-3) at Bears - Best team in the league vs. Sexy Rexy? Enough said.
Lions (+6.5) over Jaguars - If Detroit is going to win a game this year, this is it. Can the Jaguars lose to two winless teams in back to back weeks? Yes they can!
Dolphins (-8) over Seahawks - That's a hell of a trip.
Vikings (+2.5) over Packers - I don't like taking a line where losing by a field goal whores you but my gut tells me Green Bay can't be counted on this week.
Patriots (-3.5) over Bills - As soon as I believe in the Bills they prove I was right at the start. Fuck them.
Rams (+9) at Jets - I like the big lines given to mediocre teams.
Ravens (-1) at Texans - It's Houston people.
BYE (-6) over Cowboys - They can't cover shit.
Raiders (+9.5) over Panthers - I guess I just like big lines in general, Raiders have to be embarassed last week.
Steelers (-3) over Colts - That defense is fucking everywhere.
Chiefs (+15.5) at Chargers - Come on, 15.5? This isn't the '07 Patriots.
Eagles (+3) over Giants - Because a 3-way tie in the NFC east would be pandemonium
49ers (+9.5) over Cardinals - I take all 9+ lines, even this one... for some reason.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)