There's no confusing it.

You hate Ed Hochuli. And good point about Ken Wisenhunt. What a stupid call. What would possess him to do that? Oh well, his stupidity is our gain.

Also, in case you hadn't herad this before, I heard that Vegas doesn't even issue some lines this early in the week because of issues that are still outstanding, which may be resolved later in the week; namely injuries. I figure that is the reason why the Eagles-Bears game still does not have a number. Because they are waiting for the injury report to come out on Thursday to figure out if Brian Westbrook is going to play or not, and I pray to God he is. I even heard that some games with a line that would be cartoonish, Vegas will not even take bets on them. But that really only happens in college.

By the way, can I get some props for sitting Jon's tubesteak-provider, Roethlisberger in favor of Philip Rivers? That call won my game this week in fantasy. And my picks went 4-0 this week. Winner! I have to enjoy it now because that sure as fuck won't happen again. Now I am going to probably get ignorant and come up with 5-game parlays or crazy teasers that will never hit.

Finally, you are all welcome for me causing Shockey's 6 - 8 week injury. I hate fantasy.

Week 3 Roundup

I fall one more game back this week in my picks. Good thing I’m not in Vegas… yet.

This week: 8-9 This season: 12-14

It seems every week I get more and more outraged at the poor officiating in the NFL. Jon and Drew can attest to how much I’ve always despised Ed “Guns” Hochuli, so I was originally happy that everyone else could no longer deny that he’s fucking terrible. Except that’s not what happened… everyone and their mother this last week has said how tragic it is because he is one of the best the NFL has to offer. First of all, everyone knows the robot who pretends to be a black guy is the best ref in the NFL. Secondly, Ed Hochuli sucks and has always sucked. See? Indisputable.


That's not holding; he's simulating what it's like to be on the receiving end of his blown calls.

Speaking of that terribly blown call in Denver, everyone is now praising Mike Shanahan for his gutsy call. What a coach! Let’s consider a couple things. It is statistically more probable to convert 2 than to win in overtime (55% to 50%... I didn’t even need to look up that second number, ask me how I did it!). So he made the mathematically correct decision. That isn’t gutsy but it certainly shows more brains than most “punt on 4th and 1” coaches. But just like it wasn’t a gutsy call he also wasn’t playing those odds. He knew there was no chance he could win in overtime. The Ed Hochuli makeup call was coming and he had to end the game before it struck. If he didn’t go for two he would’ve lost that game in OT after a mysterious pass interference call put the Bolts in field goal range. So my praise still goes to Shanahan but not because he’s got the balls of steel everyone thinks he does; he gets my praise because he had a better realization for the position he was in than anyone gives him credit for.

Romeo Crennel Pussy Call of the Week Award: Ken Wisenhunt punts on 4th and 4 from near midfield with two minutes left in the game. Redskins nation thanks you for giving up, pansy.

Time for picks…
Buffalo (-8) over St. Louis
Atlanta (+7) at Carolina
Philly (-3) at Chicago
Cincinnati (-3.5) over Cleveland
Washington (+11.5) at Dallas
Denver (-9) at Kansas City
Jacksonville (-7.5) over Houston
San Francisco (+6.5) at New Orleans
Arizona (+2.5) at NY Jets
San Diego (-7.5) at Oakland
Green Bay (-1) at Tampa Bay
Tennessee (-3) over Minnesota
Baltimore (+5.5) at Pittsburg

The Curse

...continues. Just axe Shockey and Brian Westbrook. Although, I am a game away from picking a a full load of winners this week. Plus, I need Philip Rivers to drop bombs on the Jets tonight to have a chance in fantasy this week. Needless to say, I am riding the Chargers jock pretty hard tonight.

Foosball

I figure I'll just do them all this week.

Kansas City (+6) at Atlanta

Two teams that looks pretty bad right now so I'll go with the home team.

Oakland (+9.5) at Buffalo

9.5 is just too big not to like.

Houston (+5) at Tennessee

This one will be close to the line. The Titans defense will shut down the Schaub but can they score any points?

Cincinnati (+13.5) at NYG

Nasty Natty could be as bad as the Rams.

Arizona (+3) at Washington

Arizona may be 2-0 but they've played the 49ers and the Dolphins.

Miami (+12.5) at New England

Matt Cassell is the truth!

Tampa Bay (+3) at Chicago

Kyle Orton is also somewhat truth-like? Why else would Drew start him as a fantasy QB when he was a rookie?

Carolina (+3.5) at Minnesota

Why is Minnesota favored?

St. Louis (+13.5) at Seattle

The Rams are awful but so is Seattle. I've got to take 13.5.

Detroit (+4) at San Francisco

Sorry Jon, I've got to take the underdog because I think this game is a toss up.

New Orleans (+5.5) at Denver

Side bet: taking the over (51).

Pittsburg (+3.5) at Philadelphia

This game has the potential to be really good.

Jacksonville (+5) at Indianapolis

The Colts are getting healthy, the Jags are not.

Cleveland (+2) at Baltimore

The Browns blow. Look for Romeo Crennel to kick a field goal at the end of the game while down 4 points to fuck me.

Dallas (-3) at Green Bay

This pains me greatly. I want to be wrong.

NYJ (+9) at San Diego

J-E-T-S S-U-C-K

Week 3 winners

I am getting in a little early this week because from 12 noon tomorrow on I am going to be blotto like a motherfucker pretty much this whole weekend. Actually, come to think of it, I might actually pick winners better drunk. Especially because I never look at the fucking weather report before I pick. Motherfucking Steelers. Although, I am a little proud of myself about the Eagles-Cowboys pick. Jealous? You know you're jealous. Also, my fantasy team is surprisingly still career-ending injury-free. Take that 7 years of bad karma.

Couple of quick shots. I still think TO is mentally unstable. I mean he invoked Jeff Garcia. That was like 6 years ago. Hopefully that offensive burst by the Skins wasn't a fluke. It still felt so strained in the first half though. You MUST take advantage of turnovers and gifts, in general, in the NFL. A win is a win, but it shouldn't have been that close. The NFC East is the toughest division in football, hands down. Vince Young is a nutjob. There are too many indicators that point to that to think otherwise. The Seahawks were a shell of their former selves going into this season anyway, but they are really fucked now with their first 6 receivers injured. And NFC West is a filthy cesspool, in general. I can't believe one of those teams is actually going to go to the playoffs. Anyway, enough ranting, I know you are all waiting for me to bless you with my winners.

Seattle (-9 1/2) vs. St. Louis
Now I am actually serious about this. I am betting against the Rams every week now until it stings me. Even with wideouts coming in off the street, Seattle should still be able to beat the Rams by double digits. Take Seattle laying the wood at home.

San Diego (-9) vs. NY Jets
Jets traveling across the country. Monday night. And the Jets lost by 9 to a Matt Cassel-led Patriots team last week at home. Wait until they have to travel to San Diego and have Philip Rivers dismantle them. Plus the Chargers are probably still pissed about that botched call last week by Mike's mancrush, Ed Hochuli, that allowed the Broncos to go on to win. Either way, they need a win right fucking now.

Baltimore (-2 1/2) vs. Cleveland
The Ravens are coming off a bye, and playing at home. And Mike is right, Romeo Crennel is inept as fuck. The Browns are a fucking fraud and will loose by a field goal to the purple and black.

Oakland (+9 1/2) at Buffalo
That sure is a big number for a team like the Bills to be laying. I know it is Oakland, and they are traveling cross-country. But feeding Darren McFadden should be enough to keep this game within 10.

Last week
3-2

For the year
4-3

Here I Am; Rock You Like a Hurricane

Living and dying with the Redskins becomes difficult in a game where the lead changes five times and the game isn’t clinched until the final minutes. Missed field goals and blown redzone opportunities allowed the Saints to lead a good portion of the game and it turned into one of the more exciting games I’ve seen so far this year. I see all the commentary about how the game turned in the 4^th quarter led by Jason Campbell suddenly “maturing” but I think there is actually a single play that we can attribute to the Redskins triumphant come from behind win. With roughly eleven minutes left in the game the Redskins had the ball in their own redzone; Campbell takes the snap and is sacked back at his own five… and it was all over for the Saints. The announcers called it a “coverage sack” because he seemed to have time but nowhere to throw the ball. Coverage is an understatement. What the refs missed was cornerback Aaron Glenn tackling Santana Moss and, while it went uncalled, it ended up a huge benefit to Washington because Glenn actually injured himself doing it. Now the Saints secondary was already hurt by injury, so this was particularly bad for them as it lead to rookie cornerback Tracy Porter coming into the game. Welcome to the NFL Porter and enjoy it now because you won’t be here long. The Redskins proceeded to connect on their next eight consecutive passes, all targeting Porter's side, for 150+ yards in the air, two touchdowns, and the game clinching first down. This young corner looked befuddled and at one point I felt pretty bad for him. Now the Saints are already blaming injuries and why not they were missing three defensive starters (Skins were missing two, though nothing I've read has mentioned it). I honestly don't care how bad the Saints are – getting the first win with a new coach and a new system is critically important for the team psychologically. It shows themselves and everyone else that this system can work and that this coach can win. Despite problems, a lot of problems, I think this win can lead us to become a much better team. Also, it's a celebration bitches!

I also had the misfortune of watching the late game last night. Man that could not have been more boring. When I said I couldn't think of a reason the Steelers wouldn't blast them I have to admit I didn't think about high winds and heavy rain making the passing game useless. Still, if Romeo Crennel wasn't a big fat fucking pussy the Steelers would've covered. When you're losing by 7 and you kick a field goal with 3 minutes left in the game you should be thrown out of the god damn NFL. You weren't playing to win, you were playing to lose by less. Until you play to win you'll always be a loser you ugly motherfucker. I'm going to do something here called a cheerleader sandwich to make it more bearable.

One thought for the Monday night game. The upside is that somebody has to lose. The down side is that somebody has to win. Also for the love of God why is TO still on ESPN talking about McNabb? Nobody cares... and he mentioned Jeff Garcia as I typed that. Why do you love this douche so much Jon?

This week 2-3

Overall 4-5

Last second picks...

Taking the under for New Orleans at Washington (42 points).