How ‘bout them Cowboys?

I heard that line dozens of times last week. There are few better moments in sports than when your double digit underdog team handles what every football talking head considers the best team in sports, on the road, and who also just happens to be your nemesis in the greatest football rivalry of all time. Is it possible to get a greater win in the regular season? Hail to the Redskins!

What is making this even better is the impending meltdown of TO. You didn’t get enough targets? Seventeen passes and two rushes isn’t enough for you big guy? Maybe if you had caught even half of the balls thrown at you then you could’ve won that game. Shawn Springs is better than you. I hope he enjoyed the four touchdowns he caught last year when he was covered by Leigh Torrence and then-rookie Reed Doughty over the top because with Shawn Springs on him and LaRon Landry over the top he can’t do shit. A big ado is also being made about the lack of a Cowboy rushing attack last week. Why’d they give up on the run? First of all, they never established the pass. That’s how their offense works, back up the defense and then pound the ball. Second of all, we’ve got Marion Barber’s number. His career average is an impressive 4.4 yards per carry. His career average against the redskins is 2.1 yards per carry; in games he started against the skins it’s 1.9 yards per carry. I honestly don’t understand why we can shut him down so well but we do and I think Dallas knew it. They probably should’ve given Felix Jones a shot and I expect that’s what they’ll do in our next meeting.

The one turnover in that game was a thing of beauty. I didn't fully appreciate it at the time but having seen the replay I have to give a lot of credit to our new defensive coordinator because that play was designed to get a turnover. Watching Dallas their receivers often adjust their route when given a big cushion by the CB. With a 10+ yard cushion they run out to about 3 yards shy of the CB and stop. Carlos Rogers gave a 15 yard cushion and the second the ball snapped Chris Horton ran in a straight line to the 10 yard mark. Receiver stops and turns, Chris Horton catches the ball in front of him. Fucking beautiful.

Man I suck. 5-8 this week for an overall of 17-22.

 

I’m going to have to start calling Drew Nostradamus and shit. 8-0 the last two weeks? His record looks like a pickem more than somebody picking the spread. His fantasy curse remains prominent however. Shockey and Westbrook have both felt the sting, but what about Roethlisberger? He’s still playing and frankly this may be the longest his first QB pick has ever made it in a season. Personally I think his curse is developing a sense of malice. Instead of ending it quickly it has taken away the running game (Willie Parker and Mendenhall) and his offensive line (just lost another one to IR yesterday). Big Ben is going to catch John Kitna is sacks taken this year and it’s going to be grueling to watch. That game last night was awful. Two pitifully bad offenses combined with egregious penalties the entire game. What did I tell you about the Ravens? I believe Jon called that final field goal in OT a mercy flush and I couldn’t say it better.

Worst Headline of the Week: John Clayton on ESPN.com for "The Deuce is Finally Loose." We don't need to hear about your struggles with incontinence John.

We Want Dallas

Why does the NFL hate the fans?

More bitching I forgot to include in my last post!

The NFL controls which networks can show which games in which markets through a collective bargaining agreement with the television networks. This would be illegal if not for a congressional exemption that also requires no congressional oversight of the NFL’s activities. Fine, I can live with that, except that it is clearly punishing the fans. Not allowing networks to play or switch to good games is killing my interest in watching non-Redskins football games. For both Week 2 and Week 3 in this area we got only one game at 1pm and one game at 4pm, despite CBS and FOX playing Bull Riding and Beach Volleyball during the time slot respectively. When the Tampa at Chicago game went to overtime FOX actually cut the broadcast in favor of a half hour of post game show followed by volleyball. In the one second before I could find the remote to change channels they apologized that league rules did not allow them to carry the game past that time. Thanks NFL! I do applaud CBS, however, for continuing to play the Bengals/Giants OT game over the game that was scheduled and for playing Pittsburg at Philly which had a much higher potential for excitement than all the fucking Ravens games we usually see here. (Side Note: Has any team in the history of the NFL played more boring games than the Ravens?) CBS is obviously trying to show NFL fans what they want to see, FOX is at least regretful that they’re not allowed to. So, NFL, why are you punishing us?

Don’t even get me started on the NFL network and Sunday ticket debacles. I hate cable carriers as much as the next guy but the only reason cable doesn’t get both of those things is the enormous greed demonstrated by the NFL.

Edit: Gus Frerotte, really? Isn't that the guy who gave himself a concussion headbutting a wall after he ran in a touchdown? I'm shocked he's still in the league ... and alive.

Week 4 winners

Greetings bitches. I have to say, Chinese dumplings are the cure for hangovers. I went out last night Rick James style. "It's a celebration! Drink up! Be merry! And welcome to the China club, a-ching-a-chang-a-ching-chang!" I was still fucked up when I got home from class this morning, and those dumplings unfucked me in record time. I highly recommend it.

So Skins at Dallas. Conventional wisdom says that the Cowboys will win this game, but I am getting a vibe that the Skins can pull this one off. Step number one is to not let TO catch 4 TDs one you like he did last year. Shawn Springs, stop crying like a little bitch and get out there and play. I don't want to jinx them, but if I had to throw cash on that game, I'd probably take the Skins and the points.

Another thing, is Gus Ferotte really going to start for the Vikings? That is a fucking joke. They need to draft a QB. Or trade for Derek Anderson when the Browns bench him for Brady Quinn. For fuck sake, do something. The NFC North is wide the fuck open. Does Brad Childress just not want to take that division? There are a lot of decisions made in the NFL that I just don't understand. One decision that I do understand is the firing of Matt Millen. What a joke of a GM he is. I don't even care about the Lions, and I even feel good about that move.

Finally, please for the love of God, can the Eagles be a little more specific about Brian Westbrook? I heard he was in uniform today, but did not practice. Different news sources are saying different things. And because of my bye situation, I have to go with an Eagles RB. Fuck these game-time decisions.

Anyway, let me bless you degenerates with my locks.

Buffalo (-8) at St. Louis
Again, until it stings me.

San Diego (-7 1/2) at Oakland
The Chargers have finally woken up. They played well on every side of the ball last week, and they should keep it going this week in this division game. Plus, Lane Kiffin has to be distracted by all the bullshit going on in Oakland. He'll be fired any minute now, and Al Davis is a fucking retard.

Baltimore (+5 1/2) at Pittsburgh
The Steelers O-line is abysmal. Truthlesberger was sacks 8 times last week, and B-more's D looks strong again. They should be able to get to him all game. I like this game as low scoring and close to the end. Steelers will probably win, but only by a field goal or so.

NY Jets (-1) vs. Arizona
The Cardinals stayed in Tyson's Corner all week after the Skins game to stay on the East Coast. I think that move will backfire and disrupt the team. I don't think the Jets will lose their third in a row at home either.

Last week
4-0

For the year
8-3

Shitty calls of the week

I'm liking the Romeo Crennel Pussy Call of the Week. There need to be more of these, such as:

• The Scott Linehan Legal Murder of the Week (starting Trent Green)
• The Tony Sparano Garbage Truck Scam of the Week (Ronnie Brown having the game of his life)
• The Bill Belichick Fuck You We're Airing it Out Even Though We're Already Winning and We Could Kneel This Ball in the Third Quarter Play of the Week (Whoever Plays the Lions)
• The Brad Childress How Did You Not Make This Decision Four Weeks Ago Move of the Week (I'm going to say Romeo Crennel benching Derek Anderson YOU WORTHLESS FUCK)
  

Are you fucking serious?

The NFL keeps finding new ways to fuck my fantasy team.

There's no confusing it.

You hate Ed Hochuli. And good point about Ken Wisenhunt. What a stupid call. What would possess him to do that? Oh well, his stupidity is our gain.

Also, in case you hadn't herad this before, I heard that Vegas doesn't even issue some lines this early in the week because of issues that are still outstanding, which may be resolved later in the week; namely injuries. I figure that is the reason why the Eagles-Bears game still does not have a number. Because they are waiting for the injury report to come out on Thursday to figure out if Brian Westbrook is going to play or not, and I pray to God he is. I even heard that some games with a line that would be cartoonish, Vegas will not even take bets on them. But that really only happens in college.

By the way, can I get some props for sitting Jon's tubesteak-provider, Roethlisberger in favor of Philip Rivers? That call won my game this week in fantasy. And my picks went 4-0 this week. Winner! I have to enjoy it now because that sure as fuck won't happen again. Now I am going to probably get ignorant and come up with 5-game parlays or crazy teasers that will never hit.

Finally, you are all welcome for me causing Shockey's 6 - 8 week injury. I hate fantasy.