I bent my wookie

You may think I missed my picks last week because of the embarrassing performance I put up two weeks ago. Let me assure you that I am the better picker and I am ashamed to have lost two weeks in a row to inferior picks. Just because I’m 0-2 in my divisional picks and riding in last place will not prevent me from talking shit, I assure you. What? My electrifying running back was drafted by Drew and is now injured, leaving me to carry the offen.. er picks? Time to start thinking about next season, assuming I don’t blow out a knee in the next few weeks and end up traded to Minnesota during the off season and end up losing the starting job to a guy who head butts walls because I one hop five yard passes.

McNabb’s McWhining aside, I couldn’t pick last week because I was on travel to the Far East. Much farther than China, I’m talking California far. The Schaub was out this last week (bruised self esteem 1-2 weeks) so check out the Wise Sage Rosenfels at the end of his 56 minutes of career comeback goodness:

Awesome.

So the Redskins, man, wow. The offense is getting a lot of love, probably because we haven’t had one in a decade, and they deserve it. Hanging 200+ on the league’s top run defense? Impressive. Ending the game with a 7+ minute drive? Almost an old school Riggo drill if they didn’t attempt those two passes. Still as much as the offense has improved I think we need to look at the defense as the reason we’ve won these last four games. In five weeks we’ve faced the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 9th best offenses in the entire league and held all of them to their lowest yardage of the season. The defense may be ranked only 13th in the league but consider the caliber of offenses we’ve faced I think that’s damn good.

I still think this week is going to be a test for the Redskins on a number of levels. The Redskins have a recent history of some bad trends that point to possible problems in this game. Foremost, they’re constantly playing down to their opponents. It seems like every game is close regardless of if we’re playing a great team or a Detroit-esque team. We need to put St. Louis down with authority if we’re for real. We’re also a huge favorite and thus far the Redskins have thrived on being the underdogs. It’s time to find new motivation to perform and they need to find it fast. Despite St. Louis being a good candidate for 0-16 (much better than Miami was last year by the way, they lost so many close games) this is a real test of the Redskins’ character.

I see Drew is hating on Kyle ‘The Bottle’ Orton. Well, I was going to start another player but because you’re talking shit and I’ve got you this week in fantasy… prepare to face the wrath of Neckbeard. Last time I said I liked a player for fantasy and didn’t start him the asshole scored 5 TDs – not making that mistake again. Alright, time for picks. Since I’m currently in Vegas, money goes on these. I’m due for a good week right? Using the lines from the MGM Grand sports book.
Carolina (-1.5) at Tampa – NFC South may be competitive but they sure are boring. Either way Tampa is not for real.
Washington (No line) over Rams – The MGM Grand has pulled this game from the board.
New York Jets (-8) over Cincinnati – Fitz is the Titz!
New Orleans (-7) over Oakland – Even the Saints cant fuck up another one right?
Miami (-3) at Houston – Holy shit the fins are favored on the road. I thought that would take at least 2-3 years after last season.
Chicago (-3) at Atlanta – Blinded by the Beard
Vikings (-13) over Detroit – Has Detroit lost by less than 13 yet?
Baltimore (-4) over Indianapolis – Nap town is reeling, Flacco needs a nickname. Time for him to earn one this week.
Denver (-3) over Jacksonville – I got nothing.
San Francisco (+5) over Philadelphia – Westbrook is out = Philly sucks
Arizona (+4.5) over Dallas – Look for Kurt 'El Savior' Warner to pass judgement on the sinners
Green Bay (-1) at Seattle – One point? Anybody watched Seattle play this year?
New England (+5) at San Diego – I bet this game looked important before the season started
New York Giants (-7.5) at Cleveland - Have I mentioned how much of a piece of shit Romeo Crennel is?