Week 6 Guarantees

Thanks have to go out to Matt Schaub and the Texans for letting the Colts come back to score 21 points in 2:10 in the fourth quarter to come back and cover. How the fuck do you let that happen? And did you see the hit on Schaub that made him spin in the air? What an idiot. Thanks also go to the Bills for proving my theory that you really are not for real, especially your highly rated D, which let that fossil Kurt Warner hang 41 on them. They played nothing but garbage in their first 4 games, and everyone was sucking their dicks and saying how great their defense is. Everyone's defense looks stifling against the Rams, Raiders, Jags, and Seahawks.

How about the motherfucking Skins? Once again, this team is for real. I really have to think it is because of the improvement in the coaching staff. When Gibbs was here, the Redskins were playing scared. Nursing leads, not taking chances, always running on first down, etc. Now there seems to be a completely different attitude about this team. Jason Campbell is playing mistake free football. He still has not thrown a pick. Clinton Portis is having a bomb year. The O line might be the most surprising part of the team. They are playing really well, especially in the run. Going into this game, the Eagles were the number 1 rated D against the run, and the Skins ran for 203 on them. We also controlled the entire tempo of the game. Time of possession Redskins - 34:45, Eagles 25:15. First downs Redskins - 22, Eagles - 12. To me, that tells a lot.

I heard Donovan McNabb running his mouth after the game about how they shouldn't have lost to the Redskins. Here's a newsflash for you douchebag, you're team is the embarrassment of the NFC East. You're 2-3, and you got dominated by the Redskins. You did not deserve to win that game after giving up an early 14 point lead, and letting the Skins run the ball down your fucking throat all game. Now it looks like the Eagles are going to be the only team from the NFC East to not go to the playoffs. Go fuck yourself.

For the Skins, these first 5 games were by far the hardest stretch on the schedule. We have now played all the division road games, the rest are at home. And the out of division games are mostly cupcakes. The combine record of the next 3 teams we play is 1-11. The Redskins look very good to be 7-1 halfway through the season. I am fucking horny.

I have noticed that Yahoo has started to include odds from multiple sources, so I am just going to use the ones they list from Sportsbook.com. Even though I said I was going to always pick against the Rams, I am not going to pick that game this week in order to avoid cursing the Skins. I am football poison.

Time for more 10 dime can't miss cash out your 401k locks.

Cincinnati (+8) at NY Jets
Even though they lost, Nasty Natti actually looked respectable at Dallas last week. The Jets are coming off a bye and Brett Favre has the highest QB rating in the league, but they are not good enough to cover that number against a talented offense like the Bengals have. Nasty Natti might even pull their first win this week.

New Orleans (-7) vs. Oakland
The Raiders have been a mess for the past decade, but never moreso than now with a retarded Count Dracula as the owner. And the Saints are coming off a tough loss last week that fucked my winning streak right in its previously-untouched ass. If they just don't turn the ball over 4 times like last week, they should cover the 7.

Green Bay (-1 1/2) at Seattle
Do they not get Seahawks games in Las Vegas? They are fucking abysmal. The Giants put up 44 points and 523 total yards on them last week. And the Packers offense isn't anything to shit on either. I could go on forever about how retarded that line is. Lay the 1 1/2, and put your roll on the Pack.

Atlanta (+3) vs. Chicago
The Falcons just beat another NFC North team, Green Bay, on the road last week. For them to be getting points at home the next week is a little disrespectful. And Orton will not have the same week he had in week 5. By the way, I was in Chicago a couple of weekends ago visiting a friend who grew up there. Huge bears fan. He says around here they shorten neckbeard to n'eard. Anyway you say it, it's pure class.

Last week
3-1

For the year
15-4